32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
