Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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