Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize