they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize