Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize
