I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just crazy horny about you
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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