hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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