Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
