Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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