omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
How external is "for external use only"?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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