It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
