Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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