also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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