Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize
