She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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