he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
