All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
