she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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