Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
