he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
