the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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