I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
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Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
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Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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