it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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