I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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