I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
