I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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