i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize