I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
