My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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