Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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