my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Couch. On fire.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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