I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
