College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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