She said her name was "party"
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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