Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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