I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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