Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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