In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
