you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
is wine microwaveable?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
