I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
