your parents love me but you hate me
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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