I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
