i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
