I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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