So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
