alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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