Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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