ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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