i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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