Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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