Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize