dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
