I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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