My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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