so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
