3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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