The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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