I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
