i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
please come you make the beer taste better
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Actions speak louder than pants.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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