why do cheetos always look like penises
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I want to fling myself into the sun
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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