If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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