Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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