Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
