my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
