Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
